Sometimes I think missing a person is a form of addiction. When someone is gone from your life, at first it is normal to miss the person but if it stretches to months or even years, maybe it has become more of an addiction that actually missing the person. Like you spend so much time thinking about the person, what are you going to do with all your free time if you were to stop missing him/her?
Right now, I have plenty of time because I have to stop missing a person who is not coming back. I have waited enough to know. I try to fill my schedule with heaps of activities yet they never seem to cover the time I spent missing the person. All I ended up with was feeling burnt out from overworked. Could it be that what I am actually doing is running away from missing him? I have a stinging feeling that I might be exhausted from thinking of him instead of the activities I’ve bombarded myself with. The way my heart is treating my body is totally unfair. My brain and every other part of my being, except from the heart, have accepted the truth. Yet because the heart is still in denial, it drives my body so tired and restless.
I guess the only way to get out of this mess is if I stopped writing about him. In that case, this has to be the last post I write about him. I have nothing else to lose in trying, so this shall be the last I write of him. At least till I got over the once-in-a-month-break-down phase.