Be still my heart.

I have an awesome God.

You may be a sceptic of a higher being, but when you examine your life I’m sure you can find fingerprints of the higher being working in your life. I’m not going to judge what or who you believe, but I chose to believe in Jesus Christ.

You guys might know that I just had an excruciating break-up recently. I haven’t talked to him for a long time and the last attempt I tried was a waste of good intention in vain. But I understand that we were both hurt. I dealt with mine by lamenting for him to want me back and he dealt with his by cutting me off his life. Fair enough. Everyone is entitled to have their own recipe of medicine.

However, as much as I try to leave him alone, I wonder how he is doing. Well, I didn’t think of it till I saw him at my graduation ceremony two weeks ago and realised how much I’ve missed him. I didn’t intend to do anything about it. I just secretly wish I will bump into him someday.

Last weekend, I dropped by a new bakery cafe in the city. The pastries look pretty… and I saw him. I stood there reading his name tag, confirming what I saw. He was managing the cafe and I’ve always thought he looks good when he is busily working because that’s what he likes doing. I left the cafe empty handed, empty stomach. Not because I didn’t want to see him but it’s not the time to be eating there yet. One day I’m definitely going back to try out the pastries.

I work in the city. Whenever I walk past the cafe I would watch him from afar and see how he is constantly on the move, happy being busy. As for myself, I like my job and I am happy doing all the things I should be doing instead of nursing a broken heart. I believe it’s no coincidence that he works so close to where I am. For months I’ve been crying my heart out to God to heal me, telling Him that I didn’t know what I want or need but just do something because I’ve tried all and all has failed. Now I can finally feel my spirit enlightened. This is the time to draw closer to God, to introspect and develop my mind and spirit. God has given me what I needed when I didn’t even know that was what I needed.

Let’s just say I’m glad and thankful.

love,
Mel.

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