Rise and Shine

I’m sorry you had to deal with the girl I was. The girl who was looking at you to fill a spot only God can. A girl who was looking for affirmation of being loved, being accepted, being worthy of something. I realised I was asking for something that no man can ever filled.

That girl has left me. I have opened up my eyes to see what happened. It’s in my nature to inquire what went wrong between us, because if I had poured out all my heart why wasn’t it enough for us? Turns out it wasn’t because I wasn’t enough, but I was asking for something beyond your capacity, or anyone’s.

If I had found my worth in Jesus Christ earlier, our situation could have been different. But perhaps, we would have never gotten together in the first place. In a way, I thank God for allowing me to make the mistake because as Carrie said, “Maybe mistakes are what make our fate… without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn’t fall in love, have babies, or be who we are”. I’m glad I met and fell in love with you.

I still don’t know how I feel for you. My emotions are conflicted most of the time and although it might not matter what I feel for you since we’re behaving like strangers, I still hold that small flickering hope of something good between us.

That one day we can be friends again.

love,
Mel.

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