There’s a saying 愛一個上一課 (translated: love one person, learn one lesson) and since we know learning is a lifelong process, we could conclude that loving is a lifelong journey.
Doesn’t matter how your love story ends, every relationship is a lesson to learn. When my heart was broken, I learnt how fragile a relationship could be and the importance of holding on to someone, then eventually I learnt to let go. It is not an easy process but we have to learn because it’s the only way forward. We could only hope that with the lessons in mind, we’ll have a better understanding, and perhaps the lessons we learnt will be enough to last us a lifetime with the next person we open our hearts to. Loving someone could be like trial and error. You don’t know who you’ll fall for and what is going to happen at the end. But if anything, I’ve learnt to NEVER start a relationship with a bad ending in mind. (Unless you’re really young and you have a whole life ahead of you to make various mistakes some of which you might regret later.)
I know a friend* who is stuck in a relationship that has dragged on so long that I see it as a telenovela with unending episodes that has become irrelevant but you continue to watch anyway because you’ve been watching it forever and somehow still interested to know what’s next although you don’t really care for it anymore. According to “爱一个上一课”, her situation would be like sitting in a classroom for years and still can’t graduate from the class. I understand that people have different learning pace, some slower than the other. However in my friend’s case, it seems to me that her pride makes her think of herself as the teacher and is not taking any lessons given. Sometimes I wonder what does it take for her to eventually learn or if she’ll ever learn.
I don’t know a lot of things. Certainly not an expert in relationship, but I believe we should all enter a relationship with an open mind, willingness to learn, and make the most out of the previous lessons we’ve learnt.
On a side note, the following is my favourite quote on love:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Are you loving the person you’re with?
*True at the time of writing. Just in case she disregards me as a friend when she reads this.