I’ve just watched the latest Pixar animation, Inside Out. It’s a brilliant movie that addresses the complexity of our emotions in a simple and beautiful story. I love it… and on the topic of emotions, I am having a close encounter with one of my core emotions; Anger.
I think of myself as a peace loving person who tries to avoid conflict at all cost, or that’s what the personality quiz results say. However, I’m slowing driven to the edge by a certain someone whom I see almost every weekday. The person is in a position which I ought to respect but I hardly find any quality that I can look up to because this person does not do what this person supposed to and made no effort to care. Like the saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” I couldn’t give a cent about how much this person allegedly knows. As far as I’ve seen, this person hasn’t live up to any expectations or even the bare minimum.
I was asking God earlier about what does He wants to teach me out of this situation. Is it to respect someone in authority? or to love the unlovable? or to learn to speak up? Whatever it is, I really want to learn it quickly so that I don’t have to keep feeling angry almost daily. I’ve been through negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness which are emotionally tiring but anger is the most physically draining! For someone who hardly lift a finger to exercise, harboring anger is like working out. I sure hope the weighing scale will at least have something to show for it.
Well, this long period of anger is relatively new emotion to me. Not a pleasant one, but all emotions have reasons and I hope to find that a-ha! moment once this is resolved. Till then, hello Anger. Sigh.