2016 Reflection: Removal of Crutches

We are told to rely on God in all the things we do, yet sometimes we received so much blessings that they become the crutches we lean on. For example, a good career, financial stability, friends and companions may unconsciously become our crutches and substitutes for God. Self-sufficiency disposes people to reject God simply because they don’t see the need to have God in their lives.

I did not realised I first stepped into 2016 with my own crutches. I had a great job where my superior acknowledged my ability and career prospect was looking up as I had just accepted a job offer with 30% increment and better benefit. I was in a long-term relationship that might turn into a lifetime commitment. I had good friends returning from overseas. I hadn’t fall sick and believed my immune system is a ferocious bouncer that can kick any diseases.

But of course 2016, affectionately known as The Worst Year Ever by the netizens, did not let me, along with the rest of the Earth population, have it easy.
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First, I was struck by the diagnosis that I had a 17cm cyst in my ovary and I need to undergo my first major surgery. Although it’s benign, having tumor as big as a 19-week fetus was a slap to my health. I had thought I could live to a 100 years old swimmingly but clearly life is unpredictable and it is foolish to think nothing would happen even with my lack of discipline in lifestyle.

Second, I started my new job which certainly is not the land of milk and honey. I had to unlearn what I knew and refine on whatever unshaped skills from my previous experiences.

Third, broken romance.

Fourth, a good friend left the city to return to her homeland. My best friend who used to travel here frequently found a new job and she had no reason to come here as often as she used to anymore.

Fifth, I will be moving to a new location next year and that means I will be changing cell group. I have just gotten used to the members and I’ll definitely miss having this leader whom I look up to. But I know that to grow in Christ is to grow upward towards the direction He planned for me, and not just imitating or piggybacking the faith of others.

The list can go longer with my grandma passing away which marks the end of grandparents generation in my life, celebrity deaths, volatile political climate, etc. As I reflect on how 2016 has been, I see how my crutches are being removed one by one and I am “forced” to rely completely on God. I would like to say I do so willingly, but if He hadn’t removed those crutches I would not have realized that I needed Him to be my constant source of strength and to not let anything take His place.

Having the crutches removed is a painful experience. I fell, I cried and I learnt to pick myself up with Jesus’ help. He is my strength and the more I know Him the more confident I am of His faithfulness and that I can run with Him directing my path. I need not worry of what may happen.

2016 has been a lot of downs and more downs. But I’m here to say I’m grateful for each experience and I have never been more excited to step into a new year with God’s promises and Him right beside me. Cheers to 2017.

X,
Mel.

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Filed under career, Life Series, Spiritual Journey

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