Tag Archives: life advice

Pre-30s Crisis

To all early to mid 20s; if you think quarter life crisis is a pain, wait till you get here.

Ok, maybe pre-30s crisis doesn’t poke you every single time or question everything you do, but that’s the problem – it reeks of apathy and submission. When you’re in your early 20s, just setting foot in adulthood, you have plenty of dreams and your fear might be whether or not you’re making the right choices or on the right track to where you want to be. When you’re in your pre-30s you’ve invested a good amount of years in the choices you made. If it’s the right one and you’re where you wanted to be then good on you but if you’re like me… doing okay, climbing the career ladder, yet feeling like I’ve lost a spark in me, then welcome to pre-30s. Things hasn’t turn out exactly how I wanted. Then again, I remember not having a clear thought on where I wanted to go when I was starting out which is probably the reason I’m still in this square.

I’ve just listened to a sermon by a random pastor* I found on Youtube about pursuing your calling and not your potential. It’s the first time I’m hearing such thing but one thing really spoke to me, “You have more things you can do than things you should do. If Satan can’t make you sin, he will make you busy. Not doing bad thing but neglecting first thing”. Have you ever feel like you’re doing so much, perhaps growing in where you’re planted but it’s still gives you the pointless feeling? I think that’s what’s happening to me. I’m doing all that I can do but not what I should do. What is it that I should do? Hmm.

Anyhow, although I titled this Pre-30s Crisis. I’m abolishing the mindset of life being one crisis after another. Quarter life crisis, Pre-30s crisis, and then post 30s and pre-menopausal crisis?? This ends right here. Sure life has its challenges but we are free to take actions and move on. With that in mind, I’m off to devise an escape plan from this crisis.

*The random pastor turns out to be Ps. Mark Driscoll. I read up that he is a pretty big and controversial pastor. If you’d like to listen to the sermon, you can click here.

Cheers,

Mel.

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Life Series, Uncategorized

Hello Anger.

I’ve just watched the latest Pixar animation, Inside Out. It’s a brilliant movie that addresses the complexity of our emotions in a simple and beautiful story. I love it… and on the topic of emotions, I am having a close encounter with one of my core emotions; Anger. 

I think of myself as a peace loving person who tries to avoid conflict at all cost, or that’s what the personality quiz results say. However, I’m slowing driven to the edge by a certain someone whom I see almost every weekday. The person is in a position which I ought to respect but I hardly find any quality that I can look up to because this person does not do what this person supposed to and made no effort to care. Like the saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care.” I couldn’t give a cent about how much this person allegedly knows. As far as I’ve seen, this person hasn’t live up to any expectations or even the bare minimum.

I was asking God earlier about what does He wants to teach me out of this situation. Is it to respect someone in authority? or to love the unlovable? or to learn to speak up? Whatever it is, I really want to learn it quickly so that I don’t have to keep feeling angry almost daily. I’ve been through negative emotions such as fear, anxiety, sadness which are emotionally tiring but anger is the most physically draining! For someone who hardly lift a finger to exercise, harboring anger is like working out. I sure hope the weighing scale will at least have something to show for it.

Well, this long period of anger is relatively new emotion to me. Not a pleasant one, but all emotions have reasons and I hope to find that a-ha! moment once this is resolved. Till then, hello Anger. Sigh.

My avatar right now. (credit to: Disney Pixar)

My avatar right now. (credit to: Disney Pixar)

Cheers,
M.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Half Marathon.

It’s the month of July! We’ve crossed over to the second half of 2014. This is the best time to revisit your New Year Resolutions in case you’ve forgotten or diverted away from them. This is the second chance to dig up your Resolutions and realign yourself.

I hope this is not your progress graph.

I hope this is not your Resolution progress graph.


Referring to my 2014 New Year Resolutions, I’ve only managed to clear one item from the list. I feel like I need to re-strategise and edit my list a little due to the unforeseen circumstances. So here is version 1.1 of my 2014 New Year Resolution:

1. Stop procrastinating. Start planning, keep a to-do journal and stick to it.

2. Save 10% of my income monthly. Learn to manage my finances. Based on my current plight, live with a budget of $10/day.

3. Have daily time alone with God, at least 10 minutes a day. I need spiritual nourishment. Make time for God.

4. Contact 3 old acquaintances to catch up and send out minimum 10 postcards to anyone, including a stranger. P.S I’ve sent 1 postcard to an acquaintance.

5. Think of full story and write it down. Deadline 20 Nov.

6. Update this blog at least once a week. You guys are my witness.

7. Read 15 books. Checked! Currently on my 19th book for the year.

8. Write a Travel Journal entry.

Seems like I need to increase my gear for the second half of the year. That’s the good thing about doing this mid-year evaluation, so we’ll know what actions need to be taken! Resolution aside, I’ve signed up for a 10km marathon in August. It’s my first time running in marathon although I know 10km is barely a marathon. Still, it’s a start of something new! Cheers to the greater half of the year!

x,
Mel.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Coping With Unemployment.

Being unemployed can be one of the worst or best situations ever, depends on how you look at it and how you spend your time while you’re going through it. I have been unemployed for 2 months since I got laid off from my post at an advertising agency. One of the most common questions I got from friends is, “how are you spending your time?” and here’s my post on how I cope with unemployment.

1. Start doing what you’ve always wanted to do and do it consistently.

For me this is blogging. I’ve always loved to blog but when I was working I kept getting distracted from blogging. Now that I have all the time, I make it a point to blog consistently as you can see from my “How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis” posts.

2. Read a lot of books, listen to sermons. Feed your mind.

Never let your mind go idle because it’s easy to be beaten when you have too much time to be unproductive. Always equip yourself with the necessary mind-food. It can be by reading newspaper or staying updated with the latest technology news, but be careful not too spend too much time on the internet. Internet can be a form of distraction. If you find yourself feeling bored or low when you’re not online, it might be a signal to spend more time on the real world.

3. Be discipline. Do things that you dread to do.

Laziness is an enemy. Sure, it’s nice to take a break, but give yourself a time frame and once it’s time to get back to doing the dull stuff, be sure to do it. Be discipline to do things that you dread to do now but you know it’ll be good for you in the long run. It could be sending hundreds of resumes daily or waking up early everyday, practice self-control and do them. Remember discipline is delayed gratification and that you’ll receive the pay off when you stick to it.

4. Show up at every opportunity.

I’m currently reading Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project and one of her resolutions is to simply show up. This is the best chance for you to show up at your friends’ events, connect with your family, and give your parents who is living faraway a visit. Or if you received a call for an interview at a company you’ve never heard of, just show up (after making sure it’s a credible company and not someone trying to set you up). You’ll never know what opportunity it will bring by showing up.

5. Take control of your finances.

One of the things I’ve learnt from this experience is to save for rainy days. Previously, I wasn’t very good at saving, as a result now I’m seeing how my bank account is fast depleting. Manage your finances at this time, do not overspend. It’s fine to indulge a little on something you like (gotta keep living!) but don’t spend on something that you don’t need or you can’t afford. Think before making a purchase. Buying that overpriced heels for an interview is not a good excuse.

6. Do more of what makes you happy. Real happy, not a cheap thrill.

Unemployment sucks but don’t let it gets you down. If running makes you happy then put on your sneakers and run. If helping people makes you happy, then volunteer for a cause. If you can’t think of what makes you happy, then think back what made you happy as a kid. I used to be so happy playing with my soft toys and narrating their stories, I don’t do so anymore because I’m happier to blog now.

That’s about how I cope with my unemployment. It’s not easy having people asking what I’m doing all the time and not having a precise answer to it but I realized being unemployed is a blessing in disguise because it saves me from purposeless life. This is like being given a second chance to think about my direction, see where my mistakes were and grow from there. If you’re a fellow unemployed, I may not know how your situation is, but stay hopeful and believe there’ll be light at the end of this tunnel!

Cheers,
Mel.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Chapter 20: The End of A Season.

How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis.

Chapter 20.

Aforementioned, this marks the last chapter of How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis series that I’ve been writing for the past few months. Thank you for reading and staying tune! It’s been a wonderful journey.

As of now I’m still unemployed but I’m trying to enjoy this moment as much as possible. There are many different seasons in our lives and for myself, this seemingly dry season helps me to focus on what matters and grow from the unpleasant experience. Being unemployed is not a fun season even if in the beginning I quite like not having to do anything. Knowing mid 20s could be my prime time, I wish I was doing something far greater than just hiding behind my screen and sharing my thoughts in secret. Nonetheless, I know every season has its reason and every moment is fleeting so I choose to enjoy whatever jobless freedom I have now.

Like it or not, life will throw shit at us and failure is guaranteed. If you don’t fail means you’re not aiming high enough. But we don’t have to fear, because it’s part of life. We get thrown into a pit and we climb our way back up. We slip and fall and we pick ourselves up. That’s what makes humans such awesome creatures. Truthfully, I had been guilty of being comfortable staying in a pit and wallowing myself in self-pity. It’s easy to just give up. Giving up is the easiest way out which is why only few people go on to become tremendously successful in life. I’m not saying I am aiming to be one of them. If you know me, you’d know I’m the least ambitious person here. I have not even figure out what’s my next plan but I can be hopeful as long as my hope is followed with actions.

I’m closing on this chapter and moving on to write more daily stuffs (film reviews and occasional ramblings). I hope this series has helped you in someway. It certainly has helped myself which means it isn’t a total flop. Lol. Always try your best and don’t give up! The end is closer than you think. Stay happy! Cheers.

8a7RG1

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Chapter 16: Good is the Enemy of Great.

How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis.

Chapter 16.

Firstly, I will be ending this series at chapter 20 and then do a summary of all. More details to come. :)

Okay, chapter 16.

This is what my sister said, “Good is the enemy of Great“. A lot of people settle for good because it is good enough. They don’t strive for more because they are contented with where they are. There’s nothing wrong with being contented. In fact, self-contentment is awesome, but we should not settle (keyword: settle) for what is good when we can achieve what is great.

My sister was a senior motion graphic designer at a prestigious TV network. Her job was good, or some would even think it’s a dream job. But she knew she is destined for more and so boldly left her well-paying job to become a full-time wedding designer. She built her business from a humble beginning and now it is very well received in the industry. I’m proud of her journey. Truly, she achieved what is great because she didn’t settle for what was good.

How did I end up becoming jobless? I settled. My previous company was pretty good; The workload was manageable, location was convenient, colleagues were friendly, etc. Though I knew I can do more than that, the “good enough” situation became an excuse for me to settle. If I had think further and look for something great, I would have been out of that company after my first year. Moral of the story: Don’t settle for good when you can be great.

I believe there is no room for regret, only room for lessons. One thing I’ve noticed – Note to self: Striving for something great requires a lot of decision-making and actions. Don’t settle. Don’t follow the current. If you must follow, then choose a mentor or someone who inspires you and go that direction. Keep swimming!

Cheers.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Chapter 15: Benefits of Sleep.

How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis.

Chapter 15

No one can fight a good battle if they are tired and weary, which is why sleeping is one of the most important things to do in the battle against mid 20s Crisis. One might think that sleeping is a waste of time because they can probably use the extra time to do more, earn more, or browse a little longer, etc. But this small act of sleeping can actually give you more power and energy that you will desperately need for the next day’s war. To add more weight to my advice, here are some of the benefits of sleep (in my opinion).

1. Improves memory.
You know how your brain tends to shut off when you’re sleepy. So getting enough sleep helps to improve your brain by staying alert and awake. Besides, I read somewhere that while our body is resting in sleep, our brain is actually working to recall and practice what was learnt earlier that day. The longer you sleep, the more things will likely stick in your brain.

2. Improves mood.
When I don’t get enough sleep, I wake up feeling grumpy and negative. Suffice to say, a good night sleep is the key to a good morning start.

This is how I look like without enough sleep.

This is how I look like without sleep.

3. Improves health.
Have you fallen ill before and then took a long nap and woke up feeling better? Sleeping is like the best free medicine there is. Think of our body as a machine. Machines will break down it they are overworked and not properly maintained. Our body will break down if we don’t give it rest.

4. Improves creativity.
I don’t know about you but sometimes I have the weirdest dream that I could not have thought of. Sleeping brings out the creative side of you that you’re not even aware of. In fact I wrote a blog entry about one of my weird, profound dreams once.

5. Improves looks.
They don’t call it Beauty Sleep for no reason. The lack of sleep leads to dark circles and saggy eyes. When you have enough sleep, you’ll look radiant the next day. It might be placebo effect but I feel prettier and that improves my mood too.

This explain her looks

This explains her looks

Like I’ve said these benefits are in my opinion so I don’t have scientific proof. Nonetheless you can call them based on empirical experiment. Anyway, my eyes are really heavy and the reason I wrote this is because I’m really in need of sleep. If my post does not makes sense, it might be the auto-pilot me doing the typing. But in any case, one should have enough sleep while you have the time. When one day your day becomes so busy, you’ll know how blessed you are to be able to sleep.

To be continued.

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized