Tag Archives: random

Let’s wine about it.

I WANT TO WHINE ALL DAY. I hate people who whine, need attention, who are unclear of what they wanna do, yet that’s who I am at this present. I am sitting typing this because I don’t know what else to do. Correction: I know exactly what I should be doing but I am avoiding it because I lack sense of responsibility or discipline.

The reason why I am here typing instead of verbally bitching to my colleagues is because I want to train to shut myself up when I feel like complaining which is proving to be a very difficult task. Workplace complaint is bad for your environment because it easily becomes a habit. Even if you don’t really hate what you complaint about, you will eventually come to hate it because you’ve manipulated yourself to hate it. So the next time you feel an urge to bitch about something, catch that thought and flush it down the toilet. Unless you know it’s a legit issue that should be highlighted to your boss then by all means give that constructive contribution.

I’m very easily distracted as you can probably tell from the way I structured my paragraphs. I get bored quicker than average human. I remember getting bored eating a bowl of prawn noodle because there’s only one taste to it (did I really expect the flavor to change halfway through the meal?! I surprise myself sometimes). So I’ve been trying to focus at work from 9 am till now which explains why at 5pm my brain left the premise and I stared at the screen wondering why I can no longer concentrate on whatever I was doing.

This probably is a messy post to read, but it’s my way of gathering my thoughts without complaining to an actual person in front of my face (I’ve instead blogged and complained to billions of human with access to internet).

So yes, time to get back to work. I have 30 minutes left before the bell rings.

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Cheers,
Mel.

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Changing the world one word at a time.

I’ve been trying to write a new post for a while but I keep falling into the same cycle – “I’m going to write something today!” then I open my laptop, create a new draft, stare at the blank page for couple of minutes, surf the net for inspiration, stumble upon a cat video, forget what I was doing. When I realise time has been lost, I’d think “Man! Maybe I’ve lost that vision to be a writer. Maybe I’m not meant to write.”

Humans are capable of turning the simplest thing into full season of Emmy-winning drama. We like to be in control and feel like we’re making a difference with what we do.  I love writing but it’s not enough to put words into paper, I need to make the words come to life and crawl into your deepest, darkest heart, plant a seed and grow into an age-old tree and bear fruits to your next generations. I put so much burden into every word no wonder I ended up not typing anything.

I know people who are very intentional with the things they do and I admire them for it. But if you’re like me, a little scattered and easily distracted (basically an ENFP), don’t beat yourself up if you can’t think of a life changing action to take or story to tell. Start small and build up from there. Our approach to life shouldn’t be that complicated. While we strive to do our best we need to know that no one expects us to be perfect right away except our pride/ insecurities/ competitiveness/ Asian parents, maybe.

As you can see, I’m starting to write even when I don’t have the sentences in my head. But I know every post published will not be in vain because while it might not change the World, at least it brings clarity to myself and that’s good enough.

Quotefancy-470776-3840x2160

X,
Mel.

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In response to: “Kami Cinta Indonesia. Tapi Buat Apa Kami Pulang Ke Indonesia?”

Indonesia, Asia’s sleeping giant, has recently been woken up by a man on a quest to clean up Jakarta with his straight-talk and no-corruption movement. What he is doing is unheard of in Indonesia where corruption has become part of our cultural identity, one that I abhor but at the same time benefit from.

This man, Pak Ahok, truly has the heart for the nation. He should be hailed as National Hero because he is unafraid of the “elite” gangsters and working his best to help the citizens who are unable to return him any favour. But instead he is put behind bars for deliberate blasphemy. While I can see why a Muslim can take offence of what he said but anyone should be able to tell the context of what he said was that voters should not be deceived by politicians hiding behind the religious veil and using that to manipulate people. It wasn’t a deliberate blasphemy. Besides, if someone said something negative about the bible I would defend it but I wouldn’t demand that person be locked up or cry for blood. We can have differing opinion and still co-exist that’s the whole point of democracy. Anyone with clarity of mind should be able to tell Pak Ahok has no ill-intention to the Muslim community. It’s just unfortunate that he was a marked man and his opponents were looking for reason to throw a grenade and they did.

For Ahok’s supporter, I can understand your disappointment, anger, or sadness. His sentencing to 2 years in prison is clearly a political play. How could the sentence be harsher than what the prosecutor demand for? I find the whole case just ridiculous. After the verdict, my Facebook timeline was flooded with posts expressing my friends’ disappointment and how some of them are ready to abandon their Indonesian passport or move to another country. Then I read an article of a letter by a student in Australia asking “Kami Cinta Indonesia, Tapi Buat Apa Kami Pulang Ke Indonesia?” (translate: We love Indonesia, but what for we come back to Indonesia?)

I grew up in Singapore and I’ve spent most of my life abroad. Every time someone asked if I have any intention to come back, I would say “what for?” or “not really”. I’m much more comfortable living in Singapore where rules are observed and values are sustained. In Indonesia everything is malleable. My friends say that what makes Indonesia creative and filled with opportunities but I find it just too much hassle. I like to keep my hands clean and enjoy the advantages of earning dollars, spending rupiah. Yes, I’m one of those hypocrites but if there’s anything that Ahok has stirred within me is the desire to come back to Jakarta.

Since Ahok came along I see how the nationalism towards Jakarta has improved among Indonesians around me. He brings glimmer of hope that Jakarta can be improved and become a city we are proud of, or willing to come back to. I always thought the slogan for Indonesia should be “Money is Power” but Ahok has a vision to help the less fortunate. As an idealist, I think that’s more important than thinking of how I can earn more for myself while watching the depressing news everyday and reading about the poor dying because they are denied of basic health care.

Now that Ahok is locked behind bars, the first thing that came to my mind was “Man. Jakarta need more people like Ahok to continue the fight!” We have an obligation to come back if we truly love the country. Honestly I don’t know if I love the country enough to leave the comfort of Singapore and if that’s what my calling at this point. Even if I come back I don’t know what good can I do to the country. Will I be joining a political party? If yes I need to be active? Am I willing to be active? Okay, this indecisiveness is my problem. Let’s leave it at that but I’m considering returning for good.

Ahok said “Kalian semua bisa memenjarakan Ahok, tapi kalian tidak bisa memenjarakan ide-ide saya.” (translate: You can put Ahok behind bars, but you can’t put my ideas behind bars.) Ahok may be in jail but we still have more people with his ideas. We need to rise up. We need to continue the fight. It’s time to stop mourning for Ahok’s sentence. The war is not lost. It has only started.

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X,
Mel.

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Filed under Culture, Life Series

Failed to open page

This error message is pretty much an allegory for me;screen-shot-2016-12-04-at-11-47-34-pm

I’ve been trying my best very hard to open a new page of my life but it just keeps failing. There’s nothing wrong with the landing page, but somehow I keep getting disconnected while trying to load the pages. It’s as if I’ve disconnected from the source or my sense of purpose and can’t move forward. Then again, maybe I’m being too dramatic.

How long does it take for an average person to move on completely from a relationship that does not work out? Accordingly to Carrie Bradshaw “It takes half the total time you went out with someone to get over them”. Based on past history, I took twice the amount of time and that’s not gonna work this time.

I guess I’m gonna get myself a better router and try to stay connected this time. Whatever that means/ it takes.

x,
Mel.

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Filed under Life Series, Love

Based on true story.

People watching is one of my hobbies. I love observing people live, how they tell their stories, and when they speak I’d analyze their thought process. I’m constantly fascinated by how each person has their own traits and are wired differently.

While I think this is a generally good hobby because it keeps your mind open to new cultures and ideas, I’m beginning to see a downside for myself. People watching is like going to the movie. I come to this Earth watching a film played out by everyone around me while I sit back and observe. Some days I feel emotionally attached to the movie but most days I’m detached because I’m not part of the story.

I can’t quite put my finger on when exactly I started drifting away from life, but somewhere along the way I got used to being a watcher and analyzer, and keeping all in. But we’re all called to be the salt and light.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.

You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.

In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

– Matthew 5:13-16

Life is not a cinema. It is the movie. You’re not an audience, you’re the character. There’s a story you need to tell, action you need to take. Sitting and taking all in is not the way to go. We need to give back because life begins when your purpose gets bigger than yourself.

At least that’s what I think.

X,
Mel.

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Filed under Life Series, Spiritual Journey

Destruction at Your Fingertips

This morning I left house with 67% phone battery. I estimated that I would be out for about 7 hours and if I keep my phone usage to minimum it would last till I’m back. It did last, but not without pain. I was fine not using my phone most of the time because I was occupied with Sunday church service, lunch with friends, and meeting few people after that. But I started to panic when I had to make my way back home with 5% of battery left.

I live in the suburb and it takes about an hour to get home from anywhere. I’ve picked up the habit of keeping myself entertained by reading ebook, scrolling through social media, browsing the news with my phone throughout my train ride. Basically I have to feed my mind with something.

The thought of having no phone for the 1-hour ride home made me uneasy, so I scrambled to look for a magazine that should keep me occupied for the ride. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the magazine I wanted to get and I didn’t want to waste money buying other magazine that I wasn’t interested in so I thought Alright, I’m gonna brace through the ride with no entertainment. How hard can it be?

The moment I stepped into the train I was bored. I stood awkwardly in the middle of the crowd not knowing what to do or where to look. Then I realized that I have a serious addiction to outside noises. I was so accustomed to being fed and entertained with what the world offers that I haven’t spent the time to just be with myself and my inner thoughts. I started thinking deeper and that 1 hour journey of self-reflection became the best part of my day.

Constantly having to be entertained is a serious addiction. We live in the World that tries to get our attention 24/7 and it’s easy to fall into its trap. I think that’s how people started become lethargic.

Image from: psychologytoday.com

Image from: psychologytoday.com

My conclusion after today’s train ride is that it’s time for me to pick up a new habit; to shut down outside noises during my train ride so that I can hear my inner thoughts. Hopefully, that will help me reset my brain appetite. Tomorrow is Monday which means I’ll be taking the train ride to work again (boo!). I’ll start off the week with the brain detox. Pretty sure it’s not gonna be easy but it has to start before I fall deeper into the addiction.

Wish me luck.

x,
Mel.

Well, at least I'm not like them. Image from: Christian Post.

A common sight. Image from: Christian Post.

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[#spiritualsunday] Where does God fit in?

Recently I’ve been grousing a lot. I groused so much that I hardly see the blessings that I have around me. It’s like when you’re focusing on a speck of dust on the table, you forget how beautiful the table is.

How often have we been so busy with life that we forget to set aside time for God? Sometimes I even negotiate with God, telling myself I’m sure He’d understand my situation. I’d choose sleeping over spending time with Him when the truth is I could have spent time with Him if I hadn’t been surfing the net. It all comes down to priorities.

I thank God for weekend because it’s a chance for me to reflect. I’m not proud of how I’ve spent my week, neglecting my time alone with God and wallowing in my tiredness. Now, I thank Him for allowing me to recalibrate and refocus my mind on Him; to look up to Him and not get distracted with the difficulties I have.

When we are so busy our lives, how do we fit God into our life? I’m troubled that I’m posing this question to myself because God should have been in our lives right from the start. He is not a person that recently joined my life and now I have to think of how do I fit Him in. He has been there throughout my ups and downs. He has given me a wonderful job, and now that I’m working hard on my job, suddenly I forgotten about Him. Note to self: Learn to appreciate The Giver more than the gift.

If you’re like me, in a situation where you’re aren’t too satisfied in but you know God is teaching you something although you can’t exactly pinpoint what it is at the moment, I wish to share this wall art that I happened to pass by yesterday.

It's like God speaking to me through wall art. #mindblown

It’s like God speaking to me through wall art. #mindblown

Recognise Your Purpose. Always remember that God has a purpose for your life. I am not a 100% sure of what it is but I know He is working in me and that I’m made for more for His glory. So I’m walking this road with pride and confidence, knowing that He is with me and in my weakness, there I’ll find His strength. Amen.

Cheers,
Mel.

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