Tag Archives: thoughts

I Do As I Say?

I was watching a video regarding the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People when I came to a realisation that there’s a huge discrepancy between the things I say and the things I do. Clearly I have been violating Habit 3: Put First Things First.

Whenever someone asks me what do I want to do with my life, I replied with no hesitation;“I want to write” . And how much time do I spend writing? Feel free to judge me by how infrequent this blog gets updated.

Why is it so hard to align what you say with what you do? I think it’s because it take less effort to say something than to do it. Basically, talk is cheap. It’s a prevalent issue because how often do you come across someone who over-promise and under-deliver? Same reason why there’s such a high divorce rate. Your vow means nothing if you have the habit of talking cheap.

How do we overcome this bad habit? (I’m asking many questions today because I’m trying to figure this out as I type). We need to get into a new habit of putting first things first. The first step is to determine your goal, and then make a to-do list starting with what needs to be prioritised. From there start clearing the list from top to bottom.

Again, it sounds much easier typing it than putting it into action. But I believe words that escape our mouths carry weight, we just don’t know it yet. There’s higher chance of me updating this blog after saying I want to be a writer than if I have kept silence. Words make you accountable.

So, yes. You’ve heard me say I’m going to blog more often. Trust it will happen.

X,
Mel.

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Chapter 20: The End of A Season.

How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis.

Chapter 20.

Aforementioned, this marks the last chapter of How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis series that I’ve been writing for the past few months. Thank you for reading and staying tune! It’s been a wonderful journey.

As of now I’m still unemployed but I’m trying to enjoy this moment as much as possible. There are many different seasons in our lives and for myself, this seemingly dry season helps me to focus on what matters and grow from the unpleasant experience. Being unemployed is not a fun season even if in the beginning I quite like not having to do anything. Knowing mid 20s could be my prime time, I wish I was doing something far greater than just hiding behind my screen and sharing my thoughts in secret. Nonetheless, I know every season has its reason and every moment is fleeting so I choose to enjoy whatever jobless freedom I have now.

Like it or not, life will throw shit at us and failure is guaranteed. If you don’t fail means you’re not aiming high enough. But we don’t have to fear, because it’s part of life. We get thrown into a pit and we climb our way back up. We slip and fall and we pick ourselves up. That’s what makes humans such awesome creatures. Truthfully, I had been guilty of being comfortable staying in a pit and wallowing myself in self-pity. It’s easy to just give up. Giving up is the easiest way out which is why only few people go on to become tremendously successful in life. I’m not saying I am aiming to be one of them. If you know me, you’d know I’m the least ambitious person here. I have not even figure out what’s my next plan but I can be hopeful as long as my hope is followed with actions.

I’m closing on this chapter and moving on to write more daily stuffs (film reviews and occasional ramblings). I hope this series has helped you in someway. It certainly has helped myself which means it isn’t a total flop. Lol. Always try your best and don’t give up! The end is closer than you think. Stay happy! Cheers.

8a7RG1

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How To Survive Mid 20s Crisis. (7)

Chapter 7

Unpack your emotional baggage and Start Afresh.

By mid 20s, most of you would have accumulated a sizeable emotional baggage. This is how mine looks like in rainbow-coloured illustration.*
Screen Shot 2014-04-28 at 01.09.53

*I came up with this equation on the night I turned 25 which was yesterday and that means I have officially stepped into the mid 20 mark. Yay!

One of the biggest hindrance that can slow us down is emotional baggage. Imagine yourself rushing to catch a plane, dragging this huge and heavy suitcase across the airport terminal. By the time you reached the gate your plane might have already flown off.

I am an introvert and like most introverts, I am slightly more sentimental and easily affected. Sometimes I get so emotional I could probably sleep on a water-bed made with my tears. But after a recent meltdown, I was forced to look into the baggage that I’m taking with me in life. I realised the only way to move to the next step, past this crisis, is to unload the emotional baggage, leave them all behind and start afresh.

It’s never easy to put aside the emotional stuff, especially those happy memories or past laurels that I wish to relive, but I need to make room for new and better stuff to fit in.

pho460x374suitcase

This suitcase is ready for new adventure.

To be continued.

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How to Survive Your Mid 20s Crisis. (2)

Chapter 2

Where to start?

Every journey begins with a single step and how do we begin that step?
I came across a very good quote “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start.” by Nido Qubein, a businessman, motivational speaker, and President of High Point University since 2005 (I googled him). This is where exactly you should start. I started writing this on my office computer while serving my notice. I reckon if I don’t start penning my thoughts I will lose the momentum to act on it and the idea will drift away. Where you are standing or sitting or lying right now is your starting point. There’s no perfect start because if you’re waiting for the perfect start to happen you would probably be a thousand step behind someone else who took their first step right now.

As of now, I have not found a new job yet. I’ve had a couple of interviews last week but nothing fruitful and to be honest this is getting depressing. The first few days after learning about my retrenchment I went on an intense job-searching rampage and sent out a good amount of applications. Now, I’m just getting really lazy to write a cover letter and send out my resumes because I’m starting to doubt myself. Nobody says that taking a first step is easy but it still has to be done. The saying goes “The first step is always the hardest” and after that things will get easier. I’m now taking the first step. I’ll let you know whether or not the road gets easier from here on.

To be continued.

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Why I Won’t Be a Writer.

At least not for now.

It has always been my dream to become a writer but that dream seems to be going further away from me. At this moment, I think it’s suffice to say I will not become a writer anytime soon. Why?

1. I have nothing to write.
As sad as it is, I truly have no passion in anything that I do right now. I used to be an opinionated person but now I’m not even sure what of what I used to be so sure of. With no opinion or passion in something, it’s very difficult to want to write and share.

2. I have no idea how to begin.
This is a common problem faced by anyone with any dream; not knowing where to start. I don’t know anyone whose job is a professional writer and I have no idea on how to get in touch with publisher or if I’ll ever be good enough to be talent scouted or find myself an agent.

3. I am slowly sinking into the society hole.
As as student, it’s easy to have big dreams and imagine all the possibilities ahead but when reality kicks in after I took the first step into working world, I realise most of my ideas are unrealistic and it’s time to do some adjustments.

4. My future is uncertain.
This country is slowly closing its door on foreign talent like myself. But I know my future is save in God’s hands as it is written in Jeremiah 29:11 – For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Once in a while I just need to remind myself not to worry too much.

5. I am becoming lazy.
This is the worst and biggest contributor to why I won’t be a writer. I spend an indecent amount of time on Candy Crush, Facebook, looking at funny cat videos, etc when I could be writing. While the internet provides accessible platforms for anyone to write, it also opens the door to gazillion distractions.

Based on the above, I could very well kiss goodbye to my dream. I think I’m going through quarter life crisis where I find myself not doing what I wish to do, not knowing how to get out of the situation, or knowing how to get out but not doing it because I’ve grown too comfortable with my current state.

I need to shake things up. I need a change. And it shall start from me. Today.

change-quote

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Don’t mention THAT.

Sometimes, in a middle of a conversation with a friend, he/she touches on something that happened in the past and you go “Don’t mention that!” Have you had that kind of conversation? I’m sure most of you had.

My guess is, that is either something embarrassing or a kind of twisted encounter. Either way, since you’d rather not mention it, it’s probably something you wished had not happened. But as much as you wish it hadn’t happened,… deep (really have to dig deep) in your heart, you’re kinda glad or at least understood why it did, because it makes you the way you are.
Am I beginning to get to you? Or am I just talking to myself?

Every wrong turn you took make you realized the right turn and every unplanned encounter you had would be a new revelation. (You realized I’m writing in past tense, that’s to show that I’m not encouraging any mistakes but if it already happened then there must be something to gain out of them.). It’s funny how a situation which seemed to ambush and crushed you to defeat becomes a lesson which will bring many triumphs ahead. All you need to do is to get through the initial post-event reaction. And how can you tell that you’ve passed through the transition of emotion derived from the event? It’s when you start to talk about it or write about it or maybe, post a blog about it. You don’t necessarily have to tell anyone. It’s a conclusion you reached with yourself.

Being cool with one of those moments you wish not to be brought up doesn’t mean you’re going to want to talk about it, but you wouldn’t mind if it comes up in a right conversation. As far as I’m concerned if anyone asks “so, what is that?”, my answer would sound something like this post’s title. Cheers!

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